Can you make SodaStream Champagne from Goon (Cask Wine)?

October 2, 2014February 5, 2018 Grant Ryan

Can you make SodaStream Champagne from Goon (Cask Wine)?

Introduction

Can you make SodaStream Champagne from Goon? It’s a great question seeing as Champagne is an expensive luxury, even the cheapest bottles (of sparkling wine) are still around $4 and that only gets you 750ml. What if you need to put on a wedding? Do you know how many bottles of Passion Pop that is?!

Equation 1:

(a*b)/c = d

a = no. of guests at wedding = 140 (CNN Library, 2013)

b = millitres of Champagne per glass = 150 (Australian Government, 2010)

c = millitres of Champagne per bottle = 750

d = no. of bottles required

Therefore, (140*150)/750 = 28

That’s right 28 bottles and that’s only one glass per person! That will set you back around $112 and when you consider all the other expenses that surround weddings and indeed penetrate them, then what are you left with? I’ll tell you what… a loveless marriage and no money to your name and what is really more important?

Now look what happens if you replace the Champagne with goon.

Equation 2:

(a*b)/c = d

a = no. of guests at wedding = 140 (CNN Library, 2013)

b = millitres of goon per glass = 150 (Australian Government, 2010)

c = millitres of goon per cask = 4000

d = no. of casks needed

(140*150)/4000 = 5.25

So obviously it is far cheaper. The real problem is that you can’t serve people goon at a wedding. UNLESS you can carbonate it. Then if it is in a glass how will people know?… They won’t!

So what is carbonation and how does it work?

Carbonation or fizz is the process of dissolving carbon dioxide in a liquid. The process usually involves carbon dioxide under high pressure. When the pressure is reduced, the carbon dioxide is released from the solution as small bubbles, which causes the solution to become effervescent, or fizzy (Wikipedia, 2014).

Finally, the real question: Can you make SodaStream Champagne from Goon?

Method

Using a SodaStream, a small quantity of dry and fruity goon will be carbonated.

Results

Discussion

As the results show the carbonated goon looked identical to Champagne (to me anyway). First wine tried was a Soft Fruity White. It felt like Champagne both in my mouth and in my heart, however as it was a Fruity White it was ridiculously sweet. The next wine we tried was a Dry White, which worked a lot better. The taste was almost identical to Champagne albeit a really shitty one. The type of Champagne your Mum’s friend Shaza would call Champaz.

“Chuck us the Champaz, Rob,” she would scream at her husband in a high, shrill voice.

But, not everything was hunky dory (a saying stolen from Shaza). We found that the Champaz went flat really quickly. But, eh, if someone says anything about it, eject him or her from the wedding. They have over stayed their welcome anyway.

A few other problems include the time it would take to produce 140 glasses of carbonated goon using a Soda Stream, the amount of noise (which is a lot) that machine produces, especially if you are trying to keep it under wraps and the amount of gas refills you would go through.

Conclusion

The wine really did taste, look and feel like Champagne satisfying the initial question. As for the wedding stuff.. don’t be a cheap skate! Just buy the extra gas cylinders for the SodaStream, then every guest can enjoy delicious carbonated goon.